Consistency

My common refrain is, "Mary Poppins, I am not." I'm not a warm and fuzzy, fun loving kind of parent, let alone care-giver. I admire those that can stop life in its tracks and simply savor every moment with children. I have moments like that. But more often than not, I am like a fly on a wall. I'm enjoying it by being on the outside, looking in. I'm not usually a part of it.

What I do provide is consistency. The rules and expectations here don't change. There is a routine to our days. So even those children who don't have a concept of time learn the cycles of the day and know what to expect. The play time may be inside or outside or at the park. But lunch is always at the same time. And a few hours after that is rest and quiet time. Snack time follows that ... and after that time the parents start trickling in and picking up their children.

It amazes me how quickly the kids learn the flow of the day. I have one little guy who sheds his socks soon after he arrives. I have learned not to even try to fight it. I just put his socks away and put them back on him, with the last diaper change of the day. It wasn't too long into his days here (he started coming when he was 1 1/2 yrs old) that he put it together. As soon as I put his socks on, he said, "Mom. Mom. Mom." (he has a habit of repeating the word until you acknowledge you know what he means). He was little over 18 months old and he knew the correlation between his socks going on and his mom coming.

I also 'color code' the belongings that each of the kids may use here. If their color is pink, then they have a pink glass, a pink wash cloth and a pink comb. I had one little one that only came here for a short little while. When lunch time comes, each of the kids simply sits where ever they spot their glass. It's a routine that works like a charm - I pick and choose who sits where and beside whom. And the kids just follow their glass. No questions asked. I couldn't believe how quickly this new little guy picked up on his color. He was around 2 yrs old at the time.

I also have a rule about cleaning up one mess before you make another. I have a lot of toys that are at arms reach all of the time and those toys are usually out and about some where. But I have large containers full of different toys with various 'themes' (dress up toys; baby toys; barbie dolls; etc). And the kids do need some assistance getting at those toys. The refrain is always the same, "Pick up one thing before you bring out another." This works like a charm at teaching kids to pick up toys without it becoming a power struggle. One little guy learned very quickly that he wouldn't get the different toys until he cleaned up what was already out and about. He would walk around cleaning up toys and I was so impressed with him. Then after that was done, he would ask for a different set of toys to be brought out. This is the same child that wouldn't pick up one toy when his mom would come to pick him up at the end of the day. There was consolation in the fact that he cleaned up as he went along all day, so the power struggles with his mom at the end of the day eventually lessened in that regard.

I remind myself of a drill sergeant with the expectations I have of the kids here. I feel like a broken record a lot of the time. But the one thing that doesn't change is what is expected. I have my little motto's: "Eat at the table ... play with the toys" (in response to fooling around at the table and putting toys in their mouths). "You break it ... I take it." (it never fails - there is always one child that has the annoying habit of breaking or taking apart the toys). "Always flush. Always wash." (my bathroom rules) "What are you teaching him, when you do that?" (when the older kids try to take advantage of the little ones and grab toys from them) "I can hear you when you talk just like this (in a quiet voice)." Loud, screaming voices inside the house drive me crazy... "Walk inside. Run outside."

Yes. Mary Poppins, I am not. The drill sergeant? More so. But it doesn't change. I am the same and expect the same and provide the same routine day after day. Consistency and knowing what to expect. Isn't that something that everyone wants, no matter how old you are?