Children are Like Snowflakes

As with snowflakes, no 2 children are alike. You may be able to take what you learn from one child to deal with another. It might work .... and it might not. But you never stop learning. As much as I've learned, I know I have an infinite amount more to know. If ever I start to believe otherwise, it is time to quit.

It never fails ... there is always a ''challenge'' child in my care. The face may change, the specific behavior may change, but that challenge never disappears.

My sweetest success stories come from those children that have been the most trying. In many cases, it's been a slow, gradual and almost imperceptible change to some of these behaviors. I will sit back in a quiet moment and watch the kids. Then I think about how far we've come. And it never fails, no matter what the behavior was at the beginning ... and how far from perfect it my be at the moment ... it is an improvement.

I described one child in particular, as being like an undisciplined dog on a leash. You could keep him under control, but it was a constant pull on the leash. It was exhausting in every sense of the word. I lost my temper too many times. When a person says the same thing time after time; day after day; month after month ... one's voice gets far too loud. But we were making a small amount of progress. It may have been baby steps, but they were forward steps.

Eventually he was diagnosed with ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) which wasn't a surprise to me. I have had other children (who at a glance) had some of those qualities that one associates with ADHD children. But there was a difference. In one case, the child was simply exhausted. The moment I told him to sit still (and he listened), he fell asleep. His 'hyper' activity was his way of keeping himself awake. With my 'true' ADHD child, this was not the case. He seemed physically unable to still himself. As we watched a movie, I would sit by him and hold the hand that wouldn't keep still. Then the second hand. Then the feet would start. I used my legs to try to still those ... and then it was if his entire body would vibrate. He became quieter ... but he never became 'still'.

Yet it was actually sad, when he started taking medication to control his behavior. He seemed almost lethargic. His hearty appetite disappeared. His essence was changed. The positive that came out of that was in the way the kids started including him in their games after they realized that he had changed.The social acceptance, as with the positive change that happened at school were the benefits he reaped. To get positive feedback is vital - for those children who hear nothing but negative has to tear away at their very heart and soul.

I've had him in my care for almost 3 years now. What a difference from then until now!