Last week provided me with ammunition to start a chapter about 'When Things Go Wrong' in the day care world. It was a combination of the most frustrating moments of the day mixed in with enough time to appreciate the humor in the situation.
Thursday, I had a very very busy kid load. I was at my maximum limit of kids and I knew I was in for a busy and challenging day. As I looked ahead to the lunch crowd that I would have, I planned a very simple to serve and eat (no assistance required for the younger ones) menu. It was time consuming to prepare a meal that required little assistance during the actual meal, but it is always worth it on a busy day.
Lunch was ready. I was organized. I always have the table preset with the lunches already set out on their plates. The kids just have to find their spot at the table (they each have a specific glass and corresponding wash cloth and they just find their glass to find their spot for the meal), I help the little ones into the high chair or booster seats, push in the odd chair and we're ready to go. It works like a charm. Except .... when the oldest child in the crowd spilt her milk before I had pushed in the last chair and put the lunch on the high chair trays. Not only did she spill her full glass of milk all over the table, bench, wall and floor ... but also onto the lap of the boy sitting beside her. First order of business was to get enough milk off the table so it wasn't dripping on the floor. Secondly, I had to find a change of clothes for the wet child. Then, I finally got around to cleaning up the milk. A full glass of milk goes a long way.
We survived the lunch ordeal but it was enough to throw my day for a loop.
Friday was a much quieter day. Just a nice amount of kids to have, lunch went well, the day was going good until .... a 4 year old little boy poked his head out of the bathroom door and said, "Colleen, I peed all over inside the toilet and on the floor ...". Nothing gets a person running like a distress call like that. There he was. Standing with his pants down, on the 'edge' of this catastrophe. I looked at the scene and didn't know where to start. The bathroom is very small, so there wasn't even room in there for me to move him to a dry spot on the floor and clean him up. I picked him up as he stood and placed him in the tub. I had to clean my way to him (the puddle on the floor exceeded what I would have thought the holding capacity of this little boy could hold - much more than the full glass of milk from the previous day anyway) and eventually I got to this damp child standing in the tub. Of course he didn't have spare clothes and I couldn't find any his size right off the bat. Eventually I sent him out of the bathroom, clean and dry in a pair of sweat pants 2 sizes too small for him.
I was still tending the 4 other children throughout this 'bathroom scene' and the voice from the tub quietly stated, "My mom doesn't get mad when I do this ...". In my exasperation, I uttered, "Your mom doesn't have 5 kids to take care of." Even by the time I retold the story (in a much more condensed matter) to the dad when he came to pick up his son at the end of the day, I could see the humor in the situation.
A little time and distance from a lot of the more taxing moments in my day are a little bit funny, when you have the quiet in your household and mind to appreciate it.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
A New Family - Day 5
The first week is behind us. There have been some moments that have been frustrating along the journey to Friday, but all in all I think the week went well.
It's understandably frustrating for child and care giver alike, when it comes to adapting to change. As we both had our moments where we were out-stubborning each other, it felt like the moment could go on forever. But they never do. I am consistent in what I expect and in the end, I think that wins out. What is wrong one day, will still be wrong the next day. I keep telling the kids "... even if I can't see you, it is still a rule ... the rules never change ...". They must get tired of my phrases. I use them consistently. I never change either!
Our newest addition is adapting to her new surroundings. When the day starts well, with no crying at the morning drop off (and 4 out of 5 days did), it helps to set the tone for the day. When the personalities mesh well with the other kids (and hers did, right from the start), that is another huge barrier we don't have to overcome. When the basics (eating and sleeping) are good, this is great. It is just a matter of learning the expectations and that is just a matter of time and consistency.
I got a very good feeling right from the beginning when I spoke to this mom on the phone and then met her. It helped that she was referred to me by people she trusted (her brother and sister in law), it helped that I knew and enjoyed the family that referred me to her. We were off to a good running start. Feeling a connection with the parents is the best launching pad for a new family.
And so begins the next leg of our journey in knowing each other. Every working day until further notice. Reality.
P.S. The 'milk struggle' of Day 4 was an absolute non-issue on Day 5. Success!
It's understandably frustrating for child and care giver alike, when it comes to adapting to change. As we both had our moments where we were out-stubborning each other, it felt like the moment could go on forever. But they never do. I am consistent in what I expect and in the end, I think that wins out. What is wrong one day, will still be wrong the next day. I keep telling the kids "... even if I can't see you, it is still a rule ... the rules never change ...". They must get tired of my phrases. I use them consistently. I never change either!
Our newest addition is adapting to her new surroundings. When the day starts well, with no crying at the morning drop off (and 4 out of 5 days did), it helps to set the tone for the day. When the personalities mesh well with the other kids (and hers did, right from the start), that is another huge barrier we don't have to overcome. When the basics (eating and sleeping) are good, this is great. It is just a matter of learning the expectations and that is just a matter of time and consistency.
I got a very good feeling right from the beginning when I spoke to this mom on the phone and then met her. It helped that she was referred to me by people she trusted (her brother and sister in law), it helped that I knew and enjoyed the family that referred me to her. We were off to a good running start. Feeling a connection with the parents is the best launching pad for a new family.
And so begins the next leg of our journey in knowing each other. Every working day until further notice. Reality.
P.S. The 'milk struggle' of Day 4 was an absolute non-issue on Day 5. Success!
Friday, January 30, 2009
A New Family - Day 4
A new day, a new challenge.
Yesterday's challenge was a milk rebellion. I made the mistake of trying to have her eat breakfast as soon as she arrived. Her mom says she wakes up hungry so has a little bit to eat as soon as she gets up in the morning. It must be just enough to make her feel like she has had breakfast. Because she didn't have an appetite at all when she first arrived. No problem - I always give very small helpings when I don't know their appetite. But I do insist that they finish their milk before they leave the table. As soon as they get into this habit, I start gradually increasing the amount of milk I serve until I get a feel for the amount that works for them.
Power struggle of the day: finishing her milk.
It got off to a bad start with breakfast (because she wasn't hungry) and it set the tone for the day. We were both intent on being successful in our individual and differing missions. Hers: to leave without drinking her milk (and I am literally talking between 1 to 2 ounces ... not a huge amount). Mine: to get her into the habit of finishing her milk.
I thought she may not finish her breakfast milk before lunch, she was so determined (it honestly wasn't that bad - but it took much longer than it had to). Lunch, she was half as determined. By snack time (I had lessened the quantity of milk to no more than an ounce by then), she was only a little determined. Today we have a clean slate. We'll start fresh and I think we will overcome that small hurdle.
It is a large amount of very, very small things that all of us adapt to when we 'adopt' a new family member. It all seems so very, very trivial but if I'm not consistent, then the others will quickly adapt the unwanted behaviours (again - all very small ... but when you add them all together it becomes big).
Our biggest challenge of all, is that she puts absolutely everything in her mouth. Everything! I caught her licking a toy car yesterday. By the end of the day, she was hesitating a nanosecond before she put something in her mouth. Almost imperceptible to the eye, but I think the habit of hand to mouth is starting to come to an end???
She fits in well with all of the kids and that is good. She goes with the flow of the day and that is also good. She is a good napper and that is great. Her drop offs go good - just a small distraction from the reality of her mom leaving and she's good. She's a good eater, enjoys the toys I have to offer, plays well on her own and with the kids. She comes full time and that is so helpful in establishing routines (part time kids with erratic schedules are becoming my pet peeve).
With this first week almost behind us, I feel like we are on the road to success. One more entry to this blog, after the week is complete and we'll be on our way. Another 'family member' adopted into the fold.
Yesterday's challenge was a milk rebellion. I made the mistake of trying to have her eat breakfast as soon as she arrived. Her mom says she wakes up hungry so has a little bit to eat as soon as she gets up in the morning. It must be just enough to make her feel like she has had breakfast. Because she didn't have an appetite at all when she first arrived. No problem - I always give very small helpings when I don't know their appetite. But I do insist that they finish their milk before they leave the table. As soon as they get into this habit, I start gradually increasing the amount of milk I serve until I get a feel for the amount that works for them.
Power struggle of the day: finishing her milk.
It got off to a bad start with breakfast (because she wasn't hungry) and it set the tone for the day. We were both intent on being successful in our individual and differing missions. Hers: to leave without drinking her milk (and I am literally talking between 1 to 2 ounces ... not a huge amount). Mine: to get her into the habit of finishing her milk.
I thought she may not finish her breakfast milk before lunch, she was so determined (it honestly wasn't that bad - but it took much longer than it had to). Lunch, she was half as determined. By snack time (I had lessened the quantity of milk to no more than an ounce by then), she was only a little determined. Today we have a clean slate. We'll start fresh and I think we will overcome that small hurdle.
It is a large amount of very, very small things that all of us adapt to when we 'adopt' a new family member. It all seems so very, very trivial but if I'm not consistent, then the others will quickly adapt the unwanted behaviours (again - all very small ... but when you add them all together it becomes big).
Our biggest challenge of all, is that she puts absolutely everything in her mouth. Everything! I caught her licking a toy car yesterday. By the end of the day, she was hesitating a nanosecond before she put something in her mouth. Almost imperceptible to the eye, but I think the habit of hand to mouth is starting to come to an end???
She fits in well with all of the kids and that is good. She goes with the flow of the day and that is also good. She is a good napper and that is great. Her drop offs go good - just a small distraction from the reality of her mom leaving and she's good. She's a good eater, enjoys the toys I have to offer, plays well on her own and with the kids. She comes full time and that is so helpful in establishing routines (part time kids with erratic schedules are becoming my pet peeve).
With this first week almost behind us, I feel like we are on the road to success. One more entry to this blog, after the week is complete and we'll be on our way. Another 'family member' adopted into the fold.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
A New Family - Day 3
The tough part begins. Reality.
Yes, as soon as she saw me yesterday morning she put it all together. 'The Mean Lady' (who won't let her get away with chewing on toys, standing and jumping on furniture, taking toys, running or hitting) was who she was going to have to spend the day with. There were tears when her mom left.
But as in most cases, the tears didn't last but a minute. I turned on a 'Clifford' video to distract her and it worked. The next kids filtered in quickly thereafter and we were good to go.
Then, the work began. The day was a continuous 'lesson'. Nothing that I said or did was making a difference, so I began to sit her in the high chair in the kitchen (alone), as a time out when she continued not to listen. She was angry ... but the lesson had to be repeated throughout the day. I do believe towards the end of the day, she did look up at me to catch my eye (and approval or disapproval) before she tried to break a known offense. We are headed in the right direction.
Today is going to be a busy day with the kids I have scheduled to come. More kids may act as a distraction for her? It could just make for a more chaotic day. Time will tell ...
Yes, as soon as she saw me yesterday morning she put it all together. 'The Mean Lady' (who won't let her get away with chewing on toys, standing and jumping on furniture, taking toys, running or hitting) was who she was going to have to spend the day with. There were tears when her mom left.
But as in most cases, the tears didn't last but a minute. I turned on a 'Clifford' video to distract her and it worked. The next kids filtered in quickly thereafter and we were good to go.
Then, the work began. The day was a continuous 'lesson'. Nothing that I said or did was making a difference, so I began to sit her in the high chair in the kitchen (alone), as a time out when she continued not to listen. She was angry ... but the lesson had to be repeated throughout the day. I do believe towards the end of the day, she did look up at me to catch my eye (and approval or disapproval) before she tried to break a known offense. We are headed in the right direction.
Today is going to be a busy day with the kids I have scheduled to come. More kids may act as a distraction for her? It could just make for a more chaotic day. Time will tell ...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A New Family - Day 2
Day #2 started well. When she arrived, she didn't put 2 and 2 together and realize that her mom dropping her off meant that mom would be gone for the whole day. They drove up, she put the other equation together - that her cousin would be coming here and playing with her. The drop off went very well for the second day in a row. This is good. Often the second day is telling.
Then the day progressed. And the rules continued to get broken. I am unwavering in my expectations and I believe that I am not expecting too much of children. So when they don't follow the rules, I will get after them. Verbally at first. Physically taking away a toy that is being chewed on. Physically taking them off the couch when they are standing or jumping on it. Verbally telling them to ''Stop!" running and if verbally doesn't work, I will catch them and stop them myself. Verbally telling them not to grab toys from others or to throw toys.
The kids that come here are great at 'teaching' the new ones what is right and wrong. More often than not, kids don't take instruction from other kids. But every time that happens, I step in and say "If you don't listen to ____, you will listen to me" (and I am getting sterner by the minute when the behaviour is consistently happening).
When words don't stop them, my tone gets gruffer, then louder, then I will step in and stop the offending behaviour myself. I am becoming 'the mean lady that makes them listen'. The time outs will happen next. By the end of yesterday, this little one had experienced her first 2 time outs. When nothing you say works .... it's time to try a different 'language'.
What I find interesting about teaching the new child the ropes, is that the kids who do continually 'break the rules', all of a sudden know the rules and they are helping me to teach the newest addition.
Unfortunately nap time only lasted one hour yesterday. I knew that the 2 1/2 hour nap of the previous day was not going to happen again. But I prefer 1 1/2 to 2 hours consistently instead of 1 hour one day and 3 hours the next. This was minor in the whole scheme of things.
When her mom arrived to pick her up at the end of the day on Day #1, she cried because she wanted to stay here. When her mom arrived to pick her up at the end of the day on Day #2, she ran into her arms and was happy to go. The novelty had worn off ... she was glad to go home and back to the 'rules' that she knew.
This weaning in period is frustrating and tiring for all concerned. But it's only been 2 days. I'll give it a week and I'm guessing that things will be turning a corner.
Then the day progressed. And the rules continued to get broken. I am unwavering in my expectations and I believe that I am not expecting too much of children. So when they don't follow the rules, I will get after them. Verbally at first. Physically taking away a toy that is being chewed on. Physically taking them off the couch when they are standing or jumping on it. Verbally telling them to ''Stop!" running and if verbally doesn't work, I will catch them and stop them myself. Verbally telling them not to grab toys from others or to throw toys.
The kids that come here are great at 'teaching' the new ones what is right and wrong. More often than not, kids don't take instruction from other kids. But every time that happens, I step in and say "If you don't listen to ____, you will listen to me" (and I am getting sterner by the minute when the behaviour is consistently happening).
When words don't stop them, my tone gets gruffer, then louder, then I will step in and stop the offending behaviour myself. I am becoming 'the mean lady that makes them listen'. The time outs will happen next. By the end of yesterday, this little one had experienced her first 2 time outs. When nothing you say works .... it's time to try a different 'language'.
What I find interesting about teaching the new child the ropes, is that the kids who do continually 'break the rules', all of a sudden know the rules and they are helping me to teach the newest addition.
Unfortunately nap time only lasted one hour yesterday. I knew that the 2 1/2 hour nap of the previous day was not going to happen again. But I prefer 1 1/2 to 2 hours consistently instead of 1 hour one day and 3 hours the next. This was minor in the whole scheme of things.
When her mom arrived to pick her up at the end of the day on Day #1, she cried because she wanted to stay here. When her mom arrived to pick her up at the end of the day on Day #2, she ran into her arms and was happy to go. The novelty had worn off ... she was glad to go home and back to the 'rules' that she knew.
This weaning in period is frustrating and tiring for all concerned. But it's only been 2 days. I'll give it a week and I'm guessing that things will be turning a corner.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A New Family - Day 1
Well, our first day is behind us. I have a better idea what to expect today ... but one never knows for sure.
The drop off went very, very well. She was distracted by the toys and her mom left without causing any upheaval what so ever. This is good. But this morning will be a better indicator. This morning, she will know that her mom will be going for the day ...
It took about half an hour before she started looking out the window and going to the door, to look for her mom. Thankfully, my next arrival of the day came about this time so she was quickly distracted by the company of another child. Within the hour, she gave him a little bear hug. Friends.
Then ... her cousins arrived. Total change of behavior. The limits were now being tested; ground rules being set in place. I probably stayed in one place no more than 5 seconds after that point. It went quickly from one thing to the next to the next. I finally had to put her in a high chair while I made lunch. I simply couldn't be watching out for her while I was busy in the kitchen.
Her appetite was quite in line with that of someone who is here their first day. She was willing to try everything but was by no means acting ravenous. That is pretty normal for day #1 - between me not knowing their appetites, food preferences and eating patterns and them being unaccustomed to our lunch routines and eagerness to be playing verses eating ... the first day isn't normally too indicative of their regular eating habits.
More chaotic play-time before our much anticipated (by me) nap/quiet time. As this new little one had proven to be quite a monkey and had an eye for getting into things, I wasn't too keen on the idea of her sleeping in my room. Although I have a playpen set up in there, I was pretty certain that she had the ability to get out if she wanted to. Thankfully ... she didn't.
I have never, ever had such an easy time of laying someone down for a nap! I laid her down, snuggled her into the blanket, said my good-night ... and it was as simple as that. She didn't move a muscle. She went straight to sleep and slept ... and slept ... and slept. When she did wake up, she was happy, rested and not at all ill at ease to be in new surroundings. Not only that, but it happened to be a day when everyone else left early. So she was on her own, the last half hour of her day. And it went very well.
No matter how much that I know the first day is always full of us learning the ropes, I always seem to be surprised by the different 'ropes' in each different case. Some first days make you want to run for the hills. Others, like this one are a reminder of how far that we've come since the last 'first day' for the last new child that started with us.
As my son uttered in exasperation this morning "She'll never learn ...", I immediately (and honestly) replied "Yes, she will." It really doesn't take very long in the whole scheme of things. And I have a house full of helpers, as the kids that were here before her quickly help me teach the new ones the lay of the land here.
The drop off went very, very well. She was distracted by the toys and her mom left without causing any upheaval what so ever. This is good. But this morning will be a better indicator. This morning, she will know that her mom will be going for the day ...
It took about half an hour before she started looking out the window and going to the door, to look for her mom. Thankfully, my next arrival of the day came about this time so she was quickly distracted by the company of another child. Within the hour, she gave him a little bear hug. Friends.
Then ... her cousins arrived. Total change of behavior. The limits were now being tested; ground rules being set in place. I probably stayed in one place no more than 5 seconds after that point. It went quickly from one thing to the next to the next. I finally had to put her in a high chair while I made lunch. I simply couldn't be watching out for her while I was busy in the kitchen.
Her appetite was quite in line with that of someone who is here their first day. She was willing to try everything but was by no means acting ravenous. That is pretty normal for day #1 - between me not knowing their appetites, food preferences and eating patterns and them being unaccustomed to our lunch routines and eagerness to be playing verses eating ... the first day isn't normally too indicative of their regular eating habits.
More chaotic play-time before our much anticipated (by me) nap/quiet time. As this new little one had proven to be quite a monkey and had an eye for getting into things, I wasn't too keen on the idea of her sleeping in my room. Although I have a playpen set up in there, I was pretty certain that she had the ability to get out if she wanted to. Thankfully ... she didn't.
I have never, ever had such an easy time of laying someone down for a nap! I laid her down, snuggled her into the blanket, said my good-night ... and it was as simple as that. She didn't move a muscle. She went straight to sleep and slept ... and slept ... and slept. When she did wake up, she was happy, rested and not at all ill at ease to be in new surroundings. Not only that, but it happened to be a day when everyone else left early. So she was on her own, the last half hour of her day. And it went very well.
No matter how much that I know the first day is always full of us learning the ropes, I always seem to be surprised by the different 'ropes' in each different case. Some first days make you want to run for the hills. Others, like this one are a reminder of how far that we've come since the last 'first day' for the last new child that started with us.
As my son uttered in exasperation this morning "She'll never learn ...", I immediately (and honestly) replied "Yes, she will." It really doesn't take very long in the whole scheme of things. And I have a house full of helpers, as the kids that were here before her quickly help me teach the new ones the lay of the land here.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Starting a New Family
Today marks Day #1 of a new family starting here. I thought this may be a good way to track the transition. Though each child and circumstance is different, many things are the same.
This little girl will be 2 years old next week. She is an only child and she is the cousin of one of the families that comes here. So she will have family here to ease the transition.
Since the mom knew of my reputation and had pretty well hired me sight unseen, our interview was different from a lot. I don't think either of us asked the questions that we may have, had we been complete strangers, during the interview process. I have a 'Daycare Policy' sheet, a questionnaire to be completed (phone numbers and information about the child) and I give out my card (with all of my contact information) to each family that starts coming here. So I count on that to fill cover what we may have missed (or trigger questions that the parent may not have thought of). So in many ways, I'm uncertain what today will bring.
She will be the first one here and the last one to leave today which won't make it easy on any count. Having other kids around usually helps the transition into our world. Playing and being distracted is a great way to pass the day. But the day looks like it will be a nice kid-load. The kids are out of school, so I'll have more school aged kids here today. And Monday is my 'quiet day' of the week, so we won't be overwhelmed either.
I believe that I am the 3rd childcare provider this little girl has had in the past year. So she should be used to the idea of leaving her mom. But that is a lot of change in a short amount of time ...
I'll post updates on our adjustments here - hers, mine and the kids. I hope today is a good first day!
This little girl will be 2 years old next week. She is an only child and she is the cousin of one of the families that comes here. So she will have family here to ease the transition.
Since the mom knew of my reputation and had pretty well hired me sight unseen, our interview was different from a lot. I don't think either of us asked the questions that we may have, had we been complete strangers, during the interview process. I have a 'Daycare Policy' sheet, a questionnaire to be completed (phone numbers and information about the child) and I give out my card (with all of my contact information) to each family that starts coming here. So I count on that to fill cover what we may have missed (or trigger questions that the parent may not have thought of). So in many ways, I'm uncertain what today will bring.
She will be the first one here and the last one to leave today which won't make it easy on any count. Having other kids around usually helps the transition into our world. Playing and being distracted is a great way to pass the day. But the day looks like it will be a nice kid-load. The kids are out of school, so I'll have more school aged kids here today. And Monday is my 'quiet day' of the week, so we won't be overwhelmed either.
I believe that I am the 3rd childcare provider this little girl has had in the past year. So she should be used to the idea of leaving her mom. But that is a lot of change in a short amount of time ...
I'll post updates on our adjustments here - hers, mine and the kids. I hope today is a good first day!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Unpredictable Nature of My Job
Once again, I am haunted with the ever changing schedules and budgets. The first week of this month went so well, that I thought maybe 2009 was a turning point. There is no such thing in the daycare business. One can rely on nothing.
This month, I calculated what I thought I could expect that I would be earning at the beginning of the month. By the 22nd of this month, I was short $400 of that total because of all of the variances to the schedule. I thought "No wonder I am cranky when this happens!"
Every time the phone rings (and it rings a lot), I wonder what curve ball is going to be thrown at me next.
When I expect a busy day, I am okay with it. I map out the menu, what we can do and how I will cope at the onset of the day. I am ready.
When I know the 'personalities' that are coming that day and how they work together, I gear myself up for the challenges that lie in wait or else enjoy a laid back sensation when I have a more easy-going crowd.
When I expect a quiet day, I map out a very different scenario. It is a day where I can squeeze in extras ... I can make soup, bake some snacks, maybe we can even leave the yard if I have few enough children! If I am expecting it, it is great.
I work with what I've got. But when I get a phone call (or more) in the morning, I am instantly reworking the day, menu, my coping abilities and activities in my mind and ... my budget.
So ... I drew up a proposal to a solution that I believe could work.
I love flat rate daycare rates. Everyone knows what the cost will be. I know my schedule and even if it varies, I know what I'm getting paid so I can cope with the variable factor.
So what I have proposed for those who pay by the day or by the hour, is for them to advise me of their schedule at the beginning of the month. I will then calculate what they will owe me for that month (to be paid on their regularly scheduled payment date). We will both know how to budget for that month and I will get paid what I am scheduled to be paid for.
It sounds like it should work. We'll see.
This month, I calculated what I thought I could expect that I would be earning at the beginning of the month. By the 22nd of this month, I was short $400 of that total because of all of the variances to the schedule. I thought "No wonder I am cranky when this happens!"
Every time the phone rings (and it rings a lot), I wonder what curve ball is going to be thrown at me next.
When I expect a busy day, I am okay with it. I map out the menu, what we can do and how I will cope at the onset of the day. I am ready.
When I know the 'personalities' that are coming that day and how they work together, I gear myself up for the challenges that lie in wait or else enjoy a laid back sensation when I have a more easy-going crowd.
When I expect a quiet day, I map out a very different scenario. It is a day where I can squeeze in extras ... I can make soup, bake some snacks, maybe we can even leave the yard if I have few enough children! If I am expecting it, it is great.
I work with what I've got. But when I get a phone call (or more) in the morning, I am instantly reworking the day, menu, my coping abilities and activities in my mind and ... my budget.
So ... I drew up a proposal to a solution that I believe could work.
I love flat rate daycare rates. Everyone knows what the cost will be. I know my schedule and even if it varies, I know what I'm getting paid so I can cope with the variable factor.
So what I have proposed for those who pay by the day or by the hour, is for them to advise me of their schedule at the beginning of the month. I will then calculate what they will owe me for that month (to be paid on their regularly scheduled payment date). We will both know how to budget for that month and I will get paid what I am scheduled to be paid for.
It sounds like it should work. We'll see.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Setting Limits
I am far too much of a 'yes person'. I nod and smile and agree to many things. Not always a wise choice.
I have a family on maternity leave; another family that will be going on a sick/maternity leave and a third family on sick leave. Each of these families have asked me to keep their children one day a week. They want their children to keep coming, stay familiar with the routines of coming, see their friends and the parents can use that time to themselves for various reasons.
I am always complimented when people opt to bring their children here. For them to bring them here when they aren't working feels like a compliment at first. But then ... reality sets in.
I have had one family request this at a time before. Not three. Losing a full time wage from a full time child, then having that child come one day a week is not a good financial alternative. As the third family approached me with this "offer", I was no longer complimented. I was starting to get down right annoyed.
When a child comes on a regular basis, everyone is comfortable with the rules and expectations. Routines fall into place, behaviours are modified to fall within 'acceptable' levels of conduct here and we all become comfortable with how we know and expect the day will unfold. We all become used to each other. It works.
When you bring a child one day a week, it is like they are visiting. There is a difference in the behaviour. Every week takes a readjusting period. The day is over and we haven't regained our equilibrium. It is work. It feels like work. There is not a lot that I enjoy about that 'day'.
I have 3 families on, or going on maternity leave within a 4 month time frame. I am losing 2 full time and one part time income. So ... I've been considering my options as to how to fill those spots and that income. When the first family asked if their son could come one day a week I thought 'okay'. When the second family asked if their 2 children could come one day a week, I thought 'not so okay'. This is not working for me. It makes my day harder and one day of income does not replace 5 days of income ... so why am I even considering this?
I know that I am the only one who can change this sequence of events. I have to sit down and figure out what I can and can't offer. I have to make choices that are best for the way my day runs. And I don't run well with change. I need stability. If I'm stressed out all of the time because of the wind of change that is constantly in the air, I don't have patience for any of the kids. And it's not their fault.
There is an emotional feeling to this that I have to thwart. As parents ask me to keep their children so that they can have a day to themselves, a day to run errands or a day where they can cook supper ... I am no longer complimented. I feel used.
It is time to sit down and set up some guidelines - if only for myself. I need to set limits based on what is best for me. What is best for me, is best for the kids.
I have a family on maternity leave; another family that will be going on a sick/maternity leave and a third family on sick leave. Each of these families have asked me to keep their children one day a week. They want their children to keep coming, stay familiar with the routines of coming, see their friends and the parents can use that time to themselves for various reasons.
I am always complimented when people opt to bring their children here. For them to bring them here when they aren't working feels like a compliment at first. But then ... reality sets in.
I have had one family request this at a time before. Not three. Losing a full time wage from a full time child, then having that child come one day a week is not a good financial alternative. As the third family approached me with this "offer", I was no longer complimented. I was starting to get down right annoyed.
When a child comes on a regular basis, everyone is comfortable with the rules and expectations. Routines fall into place, behaviours are modified to fall within 'acceptable' levels of conduct here and we all become comfortable with how we know and expect the day will unfold. We all become used to each other. It works.
When you bring a child one day a week, it is like they are visiting. There is a difference in the behaviour. Every week takes a readjusting period. The day is over and we haven't regained our equilibrium. It is work. It feels like work. There is not a lot that I enjoy about that 'day'.
I have 3 families on, or going on maternity leave within a 4 month time frame. I am losing 2 full time and one part time income. So ... I've been considering my options as to how to fill those spots and that income. When the first family asked if their son could come one day a week I thought 'okay'. When the second family asked if their 2 children could come one day a week, I thought 'not so okay'. This is not working for me. It makes my day harder and one day of income does not replace 5 days of income ... so why am I even considering this?
I know that I am the only one who can change this sequence of events. I have to sit down and figure out what I can and can't offer. I have to make choices that are best for the way my day runs. And I don't run well with change. I need stability. If I'm stressed out all of the time because of the wind of change that is constantly in the air, I don't have patience for any of the kids. And it's not their fault.
There is an emotional feeling to this that I have to thwart. As parents ask me to keep their children so that they can have a day to themselves, a day to run errands or a day where they can cook supper ... I am no longer complimented. I feel used.
It is time to sit down and set up some guidelines - if only for myself. I need to set limits based on what is best for me. What is best for me, is best for the kids.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Renewed Energy
I have just returned to my day care world after the most ideal Christmas vacation that I ever remember having. I had 2 days to spend with my family, a 5 day getaway from each and every responsibility that I have in my world and I returned from that and had 4 days to readjust to my regular life before my daycare family needed me again.
I have had moments of feeling serenity within myself, in my daycare world ... but not many. I am on day #4 of 'kids'. And it's going well!! I'm calmer and more grounded than I remember feeling for such a long time, that I may even say that I have never felt so good.
When you work around other people's kids 70% of your waking hours and your own for 90 - 100% of the hours left over ... a vacation from every aspect of your life can work miracles.
I highly recommend 'adult-only' time in whatever capacity you can manage it, for every day care provider out there. As much as any one person can love children, you really need to restock your own personal reserves every once in a while!
I have had moments of feeling serenity within myself, in my daycare world ... but not many. I am on day #4 of 'kids'. And it's going well!! I'm calmer and more grounded than I remember feeling for such a long time, that I may even say that I have never felt so good.
When you work around other people's kids 70% of your waking hours and your own for 90 - 100% of the hours left over ... a vacation from every aspect of your life can work miracles.
I highly recommend 'adult-only' time in whatever capacity you can manage it, for every day care provider out there. As much as any one person can love children, you really need to restock your own personal reserves every once in a while!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Ebbs and Flows
In the daycare world, nothing is for certain. You may have all of your openings full one day, but you just never know when things will change. The only thing you know for sure, is that they will change!
I sat down last fall at one point and though I had been told of the up and coming maternity leaves with 3 of my families, the reality of how that impacted my daycare world and income didn't hit me until I sat down with my 'long term budget' (that is a joke in the daycare business). 3 upcoming maternity leaves meant a huge hit to the budget.
The amazing thing about my daycare world is the way the ebbs and flows take care of themselves. When I realized that I would be losing the income from these 3 families, I instinctively panicked. Then I stopped myself and told myself that this wasn't happening over night and it would be happening over the course of 4 or 5 months. I convinced myself not to over react to something that I had no control over.
Now for the amazing part. My first family's maternity leave started a few weeks ahead of schedule, at the beginning of December. Financially, things were okay and I was just fine with this adjustment. A few weeks ago, I got a call about starting up a new 5 yr old (before and after school). Perfect! I had been thinking of trying to take on older kids and try to wean myself out of the 3 and under age group. The income would be less than half ... but the budget and numbers of kids I have, allowed it.
Then yesterday within 1 hour, I had 2 requests about whether I had room to take on more kids. One, for an almost 2 yr old (to start within a few months). My second family on maternity leave will be leaving shortly after that time. This could work out ...
The second request that I had was for a spot in about a year, for a 1 year old (this baby is presently 11 days old). I am thinking that 2 of my families may not be returning to me after their maternity leaves are over ... so this new baby just may fit into our world here.
Then, before the day was over I had yet another call about a 4 yr old to come before and after preschool and a 2 yr old for full days. It never rains, it pours (though I can't remember a day when it poured so much).
The absolutely best thing about all of these requests (for both me and the parent looking for daycare), is the fact that these referrals are by word of mouth. One was through a family member, another from a teacher at school and the third was through a family I presently work for. I love the word of mouth referrals! It makes me feel good to know that the families that I've worked for feel good about passing my name along. And as a parent, I know the comfort that comes in knowing that someone trusts a daycare provider enough to refer them. It's a win-win situation.
The ebbs and flows in this line of work are quite amazing in the way everything works out in the end.
I sat down last fall at one point and though I had been told of the up and coming maternity leaves with 3 of my families, the reality of how that impacted my daycare world and income didn't hit me until I sat down with my 'long term budget' (that is a joke in the daycare business). 3 upcoming maternity leaves meant a huge hit to the budget.
The amazing thing about my daycare world is the way the ebbs and flows take care of themselves. When I realized that I would be losing the income from these 3 families, I instinctively panicked. Then I stopped myself and told myself that this wasn't happening over night and it would be happening over the course of 4 or 5 months. I convinced myself not to over react to something that I had no control over.
Now for the amazing part. My first family's maternity leave started a few weeks ahead of schedule, at the beginning of December. Financially, things were okay and I was just fine with this adjustment. A few weeks ago, I got a call about starting up a new 5 yr old (before and after school). Perfect! I had been thinking of trying to take on older kids and try to wean myself out of the 3 and under age group. The income would be less than half ... but the budget and numbers of kids I have, allowed it.
Then yesterday within 1 hour, I had 2 requests about whether I had room to take on more kids. One, for an almost 2 yr old (to start within a few months). My second family on maternity leave will be leaving shortly after that time. This could work out ...
The second request that I had was for a spot in about a year, for a 1 year old (this baby is presently 11 days old). I am thinking that 2 of my families may not be returning to me after their maternity leaves are over ... so this new baby just may fit into our world here.
Then, before the day was over I had yet another call about a 4 yr old to come before and after preschool and a 2 yr old for full days. It never rains, it pours (though I can't remember a day when it poured so much).
The absolutely best thing about all of these requests (for both me and the parent looking for daycare), is the fact that these referrals are by word of mouth. One was through a family member, another from a teacher at school and the third was through a family I presently work for. I love the word of mouth referrals! It makes me feel good to know that the families that I've worked for feel good about passing my name along. And as a parent, I know the comfort that comes in knowing that someone trusts a daycare provider enough to refer them. It's a win-win situation.
The ebbs and flows in this line of work are quite amazing in the way everything works out in the end.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Kids and Food
My mom's attitudes on food have greatly influenced me, how I serve food, plan meals and incorporate as little waste as possible when it comes to the food budget.
To this day, if my mom has a full plate of food in front of her, her appetite shuts down and she is full before she takes her first bite. An overwhelming amount of food for a child must be the same thing. So whenever I serve food, I take the child and their appetite into consideration. I encourage the kids to try everything but it doesn't take long to find out which are favorites and not. So I downsize the least favorite foods (until they acquire a taste for it) and give a little more of the favorites. The rule at my lunch table is that once you finish your first helping, you can ask for whatever you want (that was on the lunch menu). But you must finish your first helping first.
Color is another thing I take into account when I plan a menu. I try to have a colorful array of foods but every now and again it seems that we end up with a 'beige' colored meal. Sometimes, appearance can make or break an appetite. Though we have had had a few 'theme' colored meals/snacks when quite accidentally, all the food ended up being a shade of orange.
Meal times are a perfect time to focus on manners. Throughout the day, I don't hear all and see all and in the rush of getting things done, I don't notice manners quite as much. Manners at the table are essential. Please, thank you, no thank you, excuse me, learning to chew with their mouths closed and keeping the foolishness at the table to a minimum are all things I enforce. Every day.
Boys and girls can have quite a different take on how they approach food. It seems that boys favor eating only to fuel their bodies. Or else, it is a competition - who can eat the most, the fastest. Girls (sometimes) on the other hand seem to associate food with socializing. I had one group of girls that sat at the table until the food was gone, visiting and eating as long as there was food to nibble on. Then there are the finicky eaters (boys and girls). I try not to give any extra attention to the finicky eater. I make their portions smaller and am very conscious of their favorite and least favorite foods, so I don't make a bad situation worse. I had one child in particular that got a lot of attention at home, for her fussiness and she tried very hard to get the same attention here. I wouldn't play into it and her eating habits did improve.
I try very hard to make kid-friendly meals and snacks. I was a very fussy eater as a child so I can empathize with those that are fussy. I try to (unknowingly to the child) accommodate this, by choosing menus according to the likes and dislikes of the kids that I have coming that day. But on the whole, I try to have a 'neutral' foods (breads/fruits) that will fill their hunger in the case of not liking other parts of the lunch. I admit that I rely on many old stand by's that most kids like, but I am thrilled when I find a group of kids that enjoy the hamburger casseroles and soups that are full of healthy food choices. I make sure that I have every food group represented at the lunch table and I try to keep the snacks relatively healthy and with a minimal sugar content.
Wasting food is something I avoid at every cost. I keep the servings small, horseplay at the table is a definite no-no (to avoid spills and choking ... plus, it drives me crazy) and my mantra is 'eat over your plate' so the food falls on their plate - not on the floor. I cook amounts according to the number of kids, appetites and my ability to utilize the leftovers for supper or my son's school lunch the next day. I'm pretty proud of the amount of food that goes to waste. Very, very minimal - which is also very good for my budget.
I doubt that the kids I take care of, go home raving about the meals that I serve. But I do think that for the most part, the parents are happy and no one goes home hungry.
To this day, if my mom has a full plate of food in front of her, her appetite shuts down and she is full before she takes her first bite. An overwhelming amount of food for a child must be the same thing. So whenever I serve food, I take the child and their appetite into consideration. I encourage the kids to try everything but it doesn't take long to find out which are favorites and not. So I downsize the least favorite foods (until they acquire a taste for it) and give a little more of the favorites. The rule at my lunch table is that once you finish your first helping, you can ask for whatever you want (that was on the lunch menu). But you must finish your first helping first.
Color is another thing I take into account when I plan a menu. I try to have a colorful array of foods but every now and again it seems that we end up with a 'beige' colored meal. Sometimes, appearance can make or break an appetite. Though we have had had a few 'theme' colored meals/snacks when quite accidentally, all the food ended up being a shade of orange.
Meal times are a perfect time to focus on manners. Throughout the day, I don't hear all and see all and in the rush of getting things done, I don't notice manners quite as much. Manners at the table are essential. Please, thank you, no thank you, excuse me, learning to chew with their mouths closed and keeping the foolishness at the table to a minimum are all things I enforce. Every day.
Boys and girls can have quite a different take on how they approach food. It seems that boys favor eating only to fuel their bodies. Or else, it is a competition - who can eat the most, the fastest. Girls (sometimes) on the other hand seem to associate food with socializing. I had one group of girls that sat at the table until the food was gone, visiting and eating as long as there was food to nibble on. Then there are the finicky eaters (boys and girls). I try not to give any extra attention to the finicky eater. I make their portions smaller and am very conscious of their favorite and least favorite foods, so I don't make a bad situation worse. I had one child in particular that got a lot of attention at home, for her fussiness and she tried very hard to get the same attention here. I wouldn't play into it and her eating habits did improve.
I try very hard to make kid-friendly meals and snacks. I was a very fussy eater as a child so I can empathize with those that are fussy. I try to (unknowingly to the child) accommodate this, by choosing menus according to the likes and dislikes of the kids that I have coming that day. But on the whole, I try to have a 'neutral' foods (breads/fruits) that will fill their hunger in the case of not liking other parts of the lunch. I admit that I rely on many old stand by's that most kids like, but I am thrilled when I find a group of kids that enjoy the hamburger casseroles and soups that are full of healthy food choices. I make sure that I have every food group represented at the lunch table and I try to keep the snacks relatively healthy and with a minimal sugar content.
Wasting food is something I avoid at every cost. I keep the servings small, horseplay at the table is a definite no-no (to avoid spills and choking ... plus, it drives me crazy) and my mantra is 'eat over your plate' so the food falls on their plate - not on the floor. I cook amounts according to the number of kids, appetites and my ability to utilize the leftovers for supper or my son's school lunch the next day. I'm pretty proud of the amount of food that goes to waste. Very, very minimal - which is also very good for my budget.
I doubt that the kids I take care of, go home raving about the meals that I serve. But I do think that for the most part, the parents are happy and no one goes home hungry.
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