Some of My Favorite Words

"Stop" is my favorite word to use in my daycare life. It doesn't assign blame. It doesn't leave the last word open to the suggestiong of what to do. When you say "Stop running" or "Stop screaming" kids often hear ''running'' or ''screaming" and they do exactly what you tell them not to do. I have tried to train myself to say what I want them to do. I'll say "Walk" or "Turn down your voice" instead (and when I can't think quickly enough I just say "Stop").

I'd love to say that it works like a charm ... all of the time. What I can say instead is that I have caught kids on several occasions doing what you tell them not to. A parent was here and telling her child "Don't drive the cars on the wall.'' He literally reiterated out loud "Drive the cars on the wall" and went on his merry way ... driving his cars on the wall. I just a few minutes ago caught myself saying "Get your face off the couch" (I have a new couch and I cringe at the vision of kids with runny noses and wide open mouths face-first on my couch ... I'm a little strange about that). The child with his face in the couch looked at me, then did it again. The child beside him did exactly what I had just said not to do. This happens time and time again. My best tactic is "Stop."

"Hush" is another favorite word of mine. No matter how frustrated or angry you are, you can't yell the word "hush." The more frustrated I am, the longer I hold the "shhhhhhh" part of the word. It tends to calm a baby ... it calms me down ... it is the same kind of effect as counting to 10.

"Walk"; "Turn down your voice"; "Be nice"; "Be good"; "Keep your pants dry" (to the kids in the toilet training phase; "Sleep ..." are words the kids probably hear in their sleep (I hope?) from the repetition around here. I have many other mantras that I repeat time after time, day after day, year after year. When I hear the kids repeating these words, I feel rewarded. I have been heard. When I see my negative behavior copied, I cringe. A person recognizes themselves in a child's behavior and I try my best (though I don't always succeed) to make sure I can stand listening to my words coming out of a child's mouth.

For the most part, I do okay. And for the more frustrating days/hours/minutes ... the less said, the better. "Stop" and "Hush" work well in those cases.