The Challenge Child

It never fails ... I always have one child that keeps me challenged. If I'm lucky, the challenges and the child changes. If I'm not, it seems that my energy and focus is on one child the vast majority of my day.

Is that really fair to everyone else, when one person's negative behavior affects everyone? As much as possible, I hope that the lesson learned is "Who wants to play with you when you act like that?" No one wants to be bullied, overruled and dominated all of the time. Who enjoys not getting any attention because the person with the negative behavior gets all of the attention? No one.

When the one displaying this negative behavior catches on, they start to get cagey about it and wait until my back is turned or until I'm in a different room.

When the behavior is ''all about them'' - they have to be first, they have to be the center of attention, they have to have the coveted toy, they have to have most, they have to have ''it all'' in every situation and in every capacity .... what do you do?

My emotions get in the way when I deal with a personality like this. I was a quiet child and I seem to relate too well with the children that can't hold their own. I have found it very hard to find the redeeming qualities in this child when the behavior is evident every day, all day.

I try to be consistent. I try to remove the negative behavior from the group. I try to send the same message to everyone. I try to be the voice of reason, the voice that they eventually start to hear in their own head before they act in a negative fashion.

I try. I don't always succeed.

Today is a much better day. After very long stretch where this 'challenge' has been evident in the vast majority of the day ... today is a much better day! The challenging behavior isn't overruling the day.

I mentioned this behavior to the parent yesterday. There has been a lot going on in their lives and routines/bed times/family time has been completely disrupted. More likely than not, this is a big part of what this child's behavior is stemming from. Whether the shift of tide today is from the parent talking to the child ... the child getting enough sleep ... my 'messages' finally taking hold ... or a combination of all of the above ... the 'why and how' of how the shift of tides has finally come, after a long haul doesn't matter. Today is a much better day. And the focus can now be on his good behavior. And I can start to like this personality once again.

I think that both the 'challenge child' and I need a break from this negativity that has seeped into our days. Let today be the beginning ....