The past month has been a challenging one for me. I know that focusing on the negative aspects of my daycare world was my downfall. Realizing that I believe I'm ready to lessen my daycare load and take on new ways to earn an income has shifted my thinking. Feeling overwhelmed with some of the many projects that I have added to my life has not helped matters.
But something changed this week. I felt happy, had more tolerance and patience with the kids and I just generally felt back to my normal self once again.
Focusing on what is good about my day is vital to my sanity. I know this, I try to live this, I've made decisions that help me persevere with this ... and every now and again, I still get stuck in a downward spiral. It is hard to drag yourself out of the vortex of those emotions. Especially when you feel that you have good reason to feel the way you do.
Maybe a person is justified with feeling those negative emotions. But who does it hurt, when you nurture them and let them grow?
My focus this week was on why the kids seem to be more discontent than usual. Am I the source? How would I feel if I was the parent dropping off my children at my daycare? If I was the parent, what would I expect from my daycare provider?
I started looking at things from where the kids stand. I made a deal with a grumpy soul that arrived one day. I told her that I would act happy, if she would act happy. I admitted to her, that I have been very grouchy lately and I needed to change. I don't know if she understood everything I was trying to say. But ... we both acted happier and we both had a much better day.
When the parents of this same crusty girl came to me to ask what they could do to deal with this child's behaviour, I admitted that I was worried that she didn't want to come here anymore. I was assured that had nothing to do with it. It is a behaviour that is happening consistently at home and they were afraid that I was going to call them at work that day (to come and take her home) because their morning had spiralled out of control. These parents trust me! And are looking to me for advice. I felt complimented that they felt this way. The 6 1/2 years that I have been tending their children has built a solid foundation , that is getting us through the rockier times.
All in all, it was a good week. The tides have changed and I don't feel like the ogre inside of me is winning any more.
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