Savoring the Moments

In this last month of running my full-time daycare, the lessons that I should have learned long ago are rising to the surface.

Simply put, I have been living my days in the moment.

I will decide what we are having for lunch and snack on the spot. At one time, that was a 'Friday job'. I would sit down and write out the lunch, snack and supper menus for the following week so that I would have the groceries on hand and wouldn't have to waste the energy deciding that in the midst of a chaotic day. Choosing menus based on what I do have in the house and the appetites of the kids on hand feels ... easy.

The house is a lot more chaotic than it used to be. I used to have the kids clean up the excessive toys at regular intervals throughout the day or if it simply felt too chaotic. Now ... we still clean up before rest time and home time. But more often than not, I'll keep that job as something to divert their attention. If there is too much arguing, nit picking or boredom ... I'll suggest that they clean up. The action of doing something productive usually negates the behaviour that's driving me crazy at the moment.

'First days/weeks/months' were always an exhausting time for me. I would set the bar high and not alter it. I wouldn't waiver from the 'expected behaviour' from the beginning. Which, is probably a good thing. I don't agree with wishy washy expectations. What is okay one day, should be okay the next. What is wrong one day, is wrong the next. I still believe in that. But ... I had an 8 month old baby here for his first and last day yesterday. In my old world of looking at the 'foreverness' of that relationship, I would obsess about new routines, how it would affect where everyone would eat and who still needed assistance during lunch. One more person to find a 'spot' for, at nap time. How will it affect our ability to get outside? Will we ever be able to leave the yard again? I would look at that baby and not see the child. I would see how this extra little person would affect life-as-we-knew-it ... and I stressed.

Yesterday, I tended this baby and it was a wonderful day. I thought 'It's just for one day' ... and I relaxed. A person should always take life a day at a time. But when running a daycare was my life, I didn't. I looked at the big picture and forgot to savor the moments.

Will all parents ever remember to tell a daycare provider when their schedule changes? I'll never know. But it happened again. Instead of being irritated at the consistency of this inconsistent behaviour (and a little bit rude), I just thought ... I should have expected this. And I'm glad that I won't be facing this on an ongoing basis in my new daycare world (less families, less chances of it occurring ... but chances are, it will happen again). It was nice to think that this is something that will be happening on a less frequent basis.

Kids are still kids. And recurring behaviours and the need for my assistance will forever be my life as long as I have kids. I still have to be vigilant about keeping expectations consistent. But when one of those behaviours is that of the under 4 year old set, I am pleasantly relieved to know that my school aged crowd will most likely not be sucking on toys, know how to wipe their own noses and not need assistance in the bathroom. As I count down the days to the lessened load of my new before and after school crowd, I am smiling inside ... just knowing that I won't be changing diapers and wiping noses forever.

I am calmer. I'm living in the moment. And when you are surrounded in a life full of children, that is exactly where you should be.

Easier said than done.