When Bad Days Happen ...

I have just endured 'one of those days' ...

In retrospect, I can see that the reason that I had little to no coping skills with the kids today was due to what was happening in my personal life (a serious health concern with a close relative). As I was living the day, I couldn't see it though.

It is impossible to separate personal from business 100% of the time. Harder yet, when you run your business from your home. When you can physically disconnect your body from your home life it helps to separate the two worlds.

Today would be the day that parents would 'forget' (??) to pick up their children ... or a trained 4 year old would have two 'accidents' ... or people would change my schedule for tomorrow unexpectedly (again) ... or a different 4 year old would act up all morning (he was in dire need of sleep). And it didn't help matters that the sky has been opening up and pouring intermittently for the past several days and I didn't know if I should take the chance on taking the kids outside (bringing in 6 wet and sandy kids is not my favorite job in the world), so we spent the day indoors which is never a good choice when there is an alternative.

So yes. I made mistakes today. Many. My patience was not good to start with, but it was next to nil by the end of the day. And when I still had 4 kids here long after their expected pick up times, I literally could have cried.

One of my (late) parents looked at me and emphatically asked, "What's wrong??" And my voice quavered for a moment as I answered. I thought that the underlying issue was my personal concerns. But in that instant, the day flashed before me and I believe I answered, "It's been a very crappy day all around ..."

I have been so pleased with my patience levels lately. My voice and actions are much calmer ... my overall demeanor has been gentler. I set goals for myself to 'up my game' and be a better child care provider. And for the most part I felt that I was succeeding at my goals. I always felt that I provided a 'satisfactory' service to my families. But I was looking for better than that.

Maybe the reason that today felt like such a bad day, is that I've had so many good days that have preceded that. By 'upping my game', I have upped my standards. I expect more from myself.

Bad days happen. No matter who you are, where you work or what happens in the world around you ... some days are simply tough.

I'm letting myself off the hook today. I have realized by talking to a family member and alleviating some of my worries ... that this personal issue threw me for more of a loop than I realized at the time.

I'm human. Tomorrow is a new day. I will approach tomorrow with a fresh outlook on the day and whatever it brings.