Toilet Training at Daycare

In the 10+ years that I have been providing day care, I have had a lot of 'experience' in the area of toilet training. And has this made me an expert in the area? Far from it!

As I am presently facing another round of children in the toilet training phase, I am simply going with the flow of what I know.

What do I know?

If toilet training isn't a priority or going well at home ... it won't go well here. If the parents don't have the time or energy to do their part ... no matter what I do here, I have very limited success.

The child has to be ready in some capacity. Their ability to understand the basic nature of 'holding it' is required. A means of communication. The desire to stay dry.

I have had some cases where the child was beyond the stage of 'being ready'. But it was the child's stubbornness to not go on the pot or in the toilet that was the obstacle. I am not above bribes. For the stubborn child, I simply told them "If you go on the pot/toilet, I will give you a prize" (I had several $1.00 'prizes' in the house at the time). The choice was theirs. It was very easy to ignore this option until ... one child in training won a prize ... and they didn't. The sacrifice of losing out on a prize was too much for this child. And eventually, he did make his break through at day care. This is the exception - not the rule (in my experience, so far).

I have tried so many things - from taking the child to the bathroom every hour (a futile effort, with a child that simply doesn't care) ... to holding out and telling them that we can not go to the park until they go to the bathroom first. Once I make a deal, I will not back down from it ... so I have created a few situations that I choose not to repeat. But once I did stick to my deal of taking them to the park ... that child seemed to realize that it was worth their while to quickly 'stick to their end of the bargain'. So I gained some headway with this tactic.

But for the most part, the only time I have success that I can count on ... is when the parent tells me that the child is doing well at home. The child arrives without the protection of a 'pull-up' or diaper and the repercussions from an 'accident' are immediate and obvious. Once this stage arrives at home, we rarely have a problem at daycare.

Presently I have a child in the toilet training phase, that comes one day a week. His mom has told me that he is having a lot of success at home. All I have to do, is ask/take him to the bathroom every half hour. That simply doesn't work in my world. Believe me, I've tried. This child isn't getting the consistency he needs, from my end. I've tried to sit him on the pot, but he shows no interest for me. I just don't have the time to supervise this bathroom visit every half hour, when I have several other children to tend. I'm sure the parent is as exasperated with me as I am with this particular situation.

I am relieved beyond belief, that the next round of kids ready for toilet training are awaiting the arrival of a baby brother or sister. The parent will be on maternity leave very soon and this 'job' will be taken out of my hands.

This is one aspect of my job as a daycare provider, that I admit that I have much to learn. What I have learned is that children do learn to understand the toilet training habit eventually. Every child is unique in what works best for them. Ultimately, the choice to 'go' is theirs. In a world where much is beyond their control, some children hold onto this control longer than others. Consistency is key ... if it isn't working at home, it won't work at day care. Once it is working at home, I will do my part to maintain the consistency at day care.

Just because I have had 3 children of my own and been running my daycare for 10 years doesn't make me an expert. I don't have all of the answers - especially in this area.

This is one area where I admit defeat. The child has control over their own body ... and as much as I'd like to control this situation ... I simply can't.

I wave the white flag! I'll do my part ... when the parent and child is ready. Every half hour, for a child that comes once a week? Maybe later ........