Parents Can Only Tell You What They Know

I just had the most heartfelt apology from one of my parents because their schedule has been so up in the air the past several months.

This family is going through a separation and throughout it all (from where I stood), it appeared that they put their children first. The children stayed in the home and the parents rotated back and forth to take care of them so they didn't disrupt their children's lives. That could not have been easy - to share a house but not be together.

On top of that, there is an injury that has had the dad on a reduced work schedule; physio appointments; and ever changing schedules. The dad applied for a job that would have meant working all days (instead of the shift work that he presently works). But that job didn't come through and another is on the horizon. He is on a back to work program due to his injury so we kind of take it a week at a time with an outlook of what we expect in the next month.

In the mean time, the mom works at a very demanding job as well. Her days are long but at least there is a little bit of flexibility at times, so she can manage getting their 5 year old off to kindergarten and back.

There has been an illness and death in the family. It just seems like the winds of change and challenges never end for this family lately.

Before this all transpired, I felt like I didn't know what was going on with this family. Schedules changed and they forgot to tell me. They may or may not bring their kids when I expected them. They would make alternate arrangements with family members for a week at a time and forget to tell me. It was frustrating to say the least. But they paid me a set monthly rate and at least knowing what I would be paid made up for a lot.

The difference between 'then' and 'now' is that now, they keep me informed. I am more aware of their schedule and the fluctuations in their needs than I ever have been. They talk to me and let me know enough of what is happening in their lives so that I can understand the necessity to be flexible for the time being.

Simply knowing what the parents knows is enough. At times like this, it's all I can ask. And I am so grateful that they are offering this information to me and I don't have to be continually questioning them.

Sometimes this is the best that the parents can do. They can't tell you what they don't know, any more than a person can call in sick a day in advance. Just let me know what you know, when you know it ... and I'm okay with that. Apology accepted.